What are the right tools? Where can we go to find the right tools to conquer fear or to keep anger in check? Can there be wrong tools too? Tomorrow’s Hope staff and volunteers are trained to help you discover which tools work and how to use them. They can’t do it for you. The crisis may be within your family circle. Make no mistake a problem with a family member is a family issue. It does not fall on one set of shoulders.
As much as we might like to think we can do it all for our children, the truth is, there are some things we can’t do, so we may need to reach out to others for help. There may be a time when we are superhuman in the eyes of our child. That said, the time will come when he or she will grow into a teen. Teenagers are more apt to talk to anyone who is not mom or dad. It isn’t personal. It’s just a part of life. A safe space is a place where there is no judgement for speaking what is true in their heart and mind. What we think or feel is not right or wrong—it just is.
We should not be saddled with the fear of consequence for what we think and feel. The trick is not so much in what we say but how it comes across to others. We do not speak with a teacher, a boss, or an elder the same as we might with a friend. There are tools for how to communicate effectively. A calm voice sets the tone, but this is not always easy to do when tempers flare. Learning how to take a step back and to think before you speak takes practice.
This article was written and published by Cheryl Connor. Cheryl has since retired, and all posts she created have been associated with Jenifer Whitemire.
